Cell Phone Safety (a helpful book)

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My wife and 8 year old son picked up a book from the public library last weekend that, as it turns out, is quite helpful and informative. It is a short little book called “Cell Phone Safety” by Kathy Allen.

Most parents will have to deal with the issue of their children having and using a cell phone. Many parents want to help their children learn to use their cell phones responsibly but don’t know where to begin in talking with them. I believe this book gives parents a good track on which to start. For children, it asks the right questions to help children begin thinking for themselves about this responsibility

The book is written directly to children, most likely younger teenagers (older teens might find it “immature”). While it’s certainly not perfect nor comprehensive, I believe there are several good things to note about it. Addressing topics like “Phones are not toys,” “Public v. Private Info,” “Identity Theft and Dangers,” “Cyberbullying,” “Think Before You Send,” and “Screens Taking Time Away from Real Life” makes this a book from which both parents and children/teenagers can benefit.

A few notable points:

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“Cell Phone Safety” encourages open, honest communication between child and parent. On several pages the statement is made “Talk to a parent or trusted adult.” The book elaborates a “trusted adult” to be a teacher or someone similar. Parents definitely need to be intentional about keeping the lines of communication open, but children need to be reminded often (from outside the home helps tremendously) that their parents are not the enemy.

While cell phones certainly enable fun aspects of social life, they are not toys. Owners/users of cell phones, regardless of age, must remember that these devices are a tool for sending and receiving information, and that’s not a game. This book doesn’t gloss over or minimize the reality of the dangers of sharing private information publicly.

In light of the “it’s not a toy” point, “Cell Phone Safety” encourages and emphasizes responsibility on the part of the child, not just the parent.

Dealing with questions like “What’s the harm in telling posting about where I am?” and “What’s the harm in responding to a number I don’t know?” undergirds the serious nature of information sharing and helps children understand the risks.

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Similarly, kids and adults alike should adhere to the point of “think before you post/share” and in many cases, you simply cannot “un-send.”

Kids and adults alike can, also, benefit from periodically and intentionally unplugging; I know I can.

Boundaries are not a means to end fun but a means to ensure safety, just like crosswalks and traffic lights are on the road. Working with your child to set and understand boundaries will go a long way toward cell phone and online safety.

 

All in all, if you are struggling with how to help your child understand the importance of online/cell phone safety, this little book is a pretty good place to start. If you are just beginning crossing into the territory, as we are, of adding an additional cell phone in your home, this book will give you a path to walk on as you begin.

 

 

Note: This is simply a short review of a book I read. I have no affiliation with the author, publisher, or anyone else associated with this book. I have found its contents helpful; perhaps you can, too.

14 Years of Marriage, #Blessed & #Thankful

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CarrollssEach day when my soul awakes
I bow my head and, to God, I pray
For He has blessed my heart & soul
His grace abundantly bestowed
A family beyond my wildest dreams
A wife whose heart, so esteemed
For each day my heart doth know
Undeserved, unworthy of this love

Today, I celebrate 14 years of married life with my beautiful bride. She means more to me…she does more for me…she gives more for me, than I could ever understand or express. Having known each other for nearly 20 years, she has loved me when I was completely unlovable. She has supported me through selfish, childish decisions. She has sacrificed (and continues to sacrifice) much. In the name of Christ, she dies to herself each day out of love and for the betterment of her family.

To say I am blessed is a vast understatement. I am truly honored to know such love. I am truly humbled to be the recipient of and in covenant with such Christlikeness.

To my bride, I know that I have not always shown my love for you the way I should, but your love inspires me to continue to try. I love you! Happy anniversary!!

2013 Family Christmas Eve Service

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Due to family circumstances our Family Pastor was unable to attend our 4pm Family Christmas Eve service. He asked me to fill in for him. So I had the tremendous privilege of teaching a lesson on The Gifts of God. The lesson turned out to be longer than I had hoped.

http://youtu.be/RhC3IDyB5fg

When God Chooses

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Due to icy road conditions, we were unable to gather for worship and Bible study with our First Baptist Keller family on Sunday, 12-8-13. Since our church uses The Gospel Project curriculum, I took the kids’ lesson for Sunday and adapted it for our use at home. Click here to read the plan.

The lesson covered Luke 1:26-56 when Gabriel spoke to Mary about God’s plan for her life.

One of my favorite things about The Gospel Project is that it provides a “Discussion Starter” video to be used to help children think more deeply about the lesson and ask questions. This lesson’s Discussion Starter dealt with the topic of choosing, specifically God choosing Mary and Joseph: “Why did God choose Mary and Joseph to be the earthly parents of Jesus?” The thinking question to pose was “What criteria would you use in choosing a team?”

Naturally…this moved into the world of soccer for me and my kids. So I asked them, “If you were choosing some of your friends to be on your team for soccer, how would you pick your team?” Right on queue, they responded, “I’d want my friends who are good at soccer.”

So…”what about me, as coach, how do you think I would choose a team?”

The 10 year old: “You’d want girls who are good at soccer.”

“True. What about how I choose who plays each position? Say I ask, ‘Who wants to play goalie?’ and everyone but you, raises a hand, but as the coach, I’ve watched YOU play. I’ve seen your speed and skill. I know that with some direction and training from me, you would make an excellent goalie. So I choose you to play goalie. Why would I do that?”

A “short” thoughtful silence.

“Because you think I can do it even if I don’t think I can. (pause) You know us better than we know ourselves, maybe.”

“That’s right!! I know you have potential to be more than what you are or what you think you can be. In some way, this is kind of what was happening when God chose Mary and Joseph. It was not because they were perfect or sinless. It wasn’t because they were already great parents; because they didn’t even have kids, yet. It was because God saw in them their potential, what they could become. He knew them better than they knew themselves…because He created them. He knew that they wouldn’t be perfect parents, but with His help, they would be the perfect parents for Jesus, the Incarnate Son of God.”

Ok, so I know that it’s not a great analogy, but I think it helped make the point: When God chooses us for a task or role in life, we can trust Him. We can trust that, with His help, we are the right one for the job because He created us and knows us better than we know ourselves. We can trust that He knows the full potential of what we can accomplish and who we can be if we trust and follow Him. So whatever God has chosen, whatever God chooses, trust Him.

Children: A Tangible Blessing from God

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Last Thursday evening, my wife and I welcomed a new child into our family. Here are a few thoughts I’ve had over the past week as I watched my daughter’s birth, bonding with her mother, and her enthusiastic reception by the other children…

Disclaimer: I realize that there is a negative side and more to this conversation than what is here, but during this week, my heart and mind have been focused primarily on the positives.

Although there are definitely some who try, I find it hard to believe that anyone who gives any amount of serious intellectual thought can truly say that the creation and birth of another life is anything short of a miracle. Certainly we can read and understand the scientific descriptions of what is going on, but there is just so much taking place in a relatively short amount of time with precise detail that, in my opinion, the reproductive design speaks for itself.

Recently a pastor friend of mine posted a blog about blessings from God. (It can be read here.) His overall point is that the blessing of God originates and is most clearly expressed in the grace of God, specifically in the gospel of Jesus. As a parent . . . as a father, I know of no more tangible expression of the grace of God in my life than the birth of my children. Yes, you read that correctly: I believe my children, each one and all of them, to be a product of the grace of God.

Now, I’m not totally naive. I’ve been a parent long enough to know that parenting comes with heartbreak. Sometimes my children simply do not do what I wish or what I think is best, but compliance and obedience are not the key to blessing. Grace is. So when the psalmist says in the 127th Psalm that children are a gift from God, there is a truth here that deserves meditation: gift from God = blessing = grace. My children bring me great joy. Not always happiness, mind you, but great joy. I have done nothing to earn this joy; it is manifestation of God’s grace in my heart. I am amazed when I sit back and observe my kids, when I hear them talk, when I think about how different they all are, yet possess so many similarities. I see 5 little ones created uniquely in the image of God, wonderfully made into His likeness (Psalm 139). I recognize the blessing of God in my life through these little ones.

On the other hand, when my children are being difficult, it is not necessarily related to an epic parental failure. (Note: It is possible, perhaps likely, that I have failed my kids in some way, but this is not always a cause/effect relationship.) A final thought: Good (well-behaved, obedient) children are no more the result of my efforts than bad (disobedient, obstinate) children are the result of my lack of parental expertise. But regardless of good behavior or not-so-good behavior or even downright disobedience, the blessing of God remains.

So I have asked the question (perhaps you have, too): why did God bless me with the children that I have? I can only respond: Grace. Since a common definition of grace is God’s unmerited or unearned favor, I believe children fall into this category. When I look at each of my kids, I am forced to come face-to-face with the fact that, for good or otherwise, I have done nothing nor could have done anything to deserve these blessings. The fact of the matter is that God is the author of life. He creates life according to His will. He designed these children to be under the care of me and my wife at this point in history.

For me and my wife, this is a weighty matter because having this view of children defines our approach to parenting. Believing/Realizing/Knowing that our children are gifts from God, given in His grace, enables us to parent under His grace, as well. We can rely on His grace to sustain our strength, provide our wisdom, and guide our instruction as we seek to train our children to love God with all of their heart, soul, mind, and strength.

One final note: I don’t want to paint a picture that I think we are perfect parents. We aren’t. Far from it. Relying on God’s grace doesn’t equal not messing up and making mistakes. It simply humbles us with a peace of mind that God can use us in spite of our failures . . . because that is grace.

She’s a girl: Emalyn Faith

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New pics added: 10/19/13, 10:15am

 

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with Papa Joe (the 5 year old tries to photo bomb all pics)

 

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Mimi & Emalyn

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Memaw & Emalyn

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 Even Kenzi is enthralled by her

 

Ready to go home! Praise the Lord; both mom and baby are healthy and doing great!!

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The whole gang

 

My wife has a tendency to amaze Labor & Delivery staff with her deliveries. She’s quite amazing!

Emalyn Faith was born at 9:44pm weighing in a 6lb 4oz and 19 3/4″ long.

Mom and baby are doing great!IMG_7776IMG_0344IMG_0346

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Boy or girl?

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Many of you know that we decided not to find out the sex of this baby. The two names we’ve been going with are Emalyn and Austin. So what’ll it be? What do you think?

If the Lord wills, we’ll know in a few hours…

Reflections from R.A. Camp

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This past week I had the great privilege of spending the week 13 boys (my oldest boy included) and leaders of the First Baptist Keller R.A.s. I wasn’t exactly sure what I was getting myself into, but I couldn’t let that stop me. And boy, am I glad I didn’t. I had a refreshing week in the outdoors. I connected with my son in new ways. I was challenged as a dad. All in all…it was a great week!

 

 

 

IMG_2901During the week we talked about being “The King’s Men.” Our Camp Pastor, Eric Armstrong of Woods Chapel in Arlington, TX, took us through several key passages relating to spiritual warfare beginning with Ephesians 6: The Armor of God. We talked about waving the white flag of surrender to God, acknowledging that we are fighting on the wrong side. Then we looked at 1 Peter 5:8-9 and the tactics of our enemy as “roaring lion, looking for anyone he can devour.” We concluded the week with The Great Commission in Matthew 28, looking at “the weapon we use (The Bible), when/where we should go, and having the heart of a warrior of God.” Now, that we have surrendered our life, joined the “good guys,” been given the armor of God, and know our enemy’s tactics, we must live in full obedience as part of God’s Kingdom in this way: “Hear the Word of God, Know the Word of God, Share the Word of God.”

IMG_2921As a dad, I got to watch and come along side him as my son explored new things. I was so proud of him. I watched this week as he grew spiritually, physically, emotionally, and psychologically. Each new thing he encountered, he tried with eagerness. He listened intently as the Word of God was preached and sang songs of praise to God.

Taking a step back, I was refreshed to see a program (Royal Ambassadors), that I had myself had basically lost interest in, invest time and effort into encouraging my son to grow into the man God wants him to be. Sadly, I had long-since forgotten that the Royal Ambassadors are first and foremost about discipling young men, not just “teaching missions.” While teaching missions is a key component of the R.A. strategy, the true purpose of R.A.s is found the first line of the R.A. pledge:

As a Royal Ambassador, I will do my best to become a well-informed, responsible follower of Christ…

Men, I encourage you to be about the task of loving your sons and training them “to become well-informed, responsible followers of Christ.”

Well-informed = Know God’s Word. Read it, study it, memorize it, live it.

Men, we cannot teach our sons to do this if we, ourselves, are not.

Responsible = take seriously God’s Word and its call to imitate Christ. Be a good steward of the message of Christ first by living it out (if you don’t live it, you don’t believe it), then sharing it with others.

Men, we must lead by example in the area of responsibility. Responsibility is a life skill; It really cannot be taught, it must be observed in another who, by their example, challenge others to do the same.

I was challenged this week, as a dad, to step up and focus on training my son to be the man God desires him to be.

The Bible: God’s Story AND…

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Back on July 18 I retweeted/reposted an article by Sally Lloyd-Jones “Teaching Children the Bible”

http://theresurgence.com/2013/07/10/teaching-children-the-bible

In the last fews days this article has been weighing heavily on my mind because I fear we might miss the balance between two extremes. The premise of the article is that the Bible is a story about God and should not be reduced to a simple “how to” manual of morality. The tagline seems to be “The Bible isn’t mainly about us, and what we are supposed to be doing—it’s about God, and what he has done.”

While this is a true statement and we can all use the reminder that the Bible is God’s story, His revelation of Himself to mankind, we cannot miss the fact that it is more than just that. By its own declaration, the Bible is sharper than any double-edged sword, penetrating as far as the separation of soul and spirit, joints and marrow. It is able to judge the ideas and thoughts of the heart (Hebrews 4:12) and it is inspired by God and…profitable for teaching, for rebuking, for correcting, for training in righteousness, so that the man of God may be complete, equipped for every good work (2 Timothy 3:16-17; emphasis added).

Under the conviction of the Holy Spirit, the Bible stands in judgment over us for the purpose of conforming us into the image of Christ through spiritual maturity. Hebrews 5 informs us that we are to be moving from the milk of the word to solid food. Solid food is for the mature — for those whose senses have been trained to distinguish between good and evil. There is an assumed behavioral difference when Paul says, Do not be conformed to this age, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may discern what is the good, pleasing, and perfect will of God (Romans 12:2).

Yes, the Bible is God’s story of the redemption of man; yes, the Bible is Jesus’ story and not a lesson in morality; and yes, we cannot live the Christian life bound by all the rules and laws encompassed in the legalism of which the New Testament writers warned against, BUT… we absolutely cannot fail to ask ourselves this question when studying the Bible: How does God want me to live differently because of what He has revealed to me through the pages of holy Scripture?

I read a quote once by Phil Vischer (creator of VeggieTales) that gave a great perspective on morality and the Bible (after 2 hours scouring the internet, I finally re-found the article; quote from page 2: http://www.worldmag.com/2011/09/it_s_not_about_the_dream/page1):

I looked back at the previous 10 years and realized I had spent 10 years trying to convince kids to behave Christianly without actually teaching them Christianity. And that was a pretty serious conviction. You can say, “Hey kids, be more forgiving because the Bible says so,” or “Hey kids, be more kind because the Bible says so!” But that isn’t Christianity, it’s morality.

So, yes, we must not extract the moral teachings from the Bible to say “follow these rules” or “have the courage of Daniel” without first laying the foundation of faith in Christ which fuels life changes, but equally, we cannot ignore the Bible’s call to deny one’s self and follow Him as a new creation (2 Corinthians 5:17) being conformed into the image of Christ (Romans 8:291 Peter 1:15-16). When it comes to the purpose of Scripture being God’s story of salvation or instructions for life, it is really a “Both/And” and not an “Either/Or.”

Today, she would have been 6…

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HPIM2389 Our daughter, Carsyn, would have been 6 years old today, had she not been stillborn. In one sense, it seems like a lifetime ago; in another, like only yesterday.

Each year, we try to set aside this day to be together as a family. We talk. We do things together, some fun – some somber. We pray. We remember. The goal is not to idolize our daughter but to simply be together and to remember and celebrate, as a family, the mercy, grace, and faithfulness of God in our life during a dark time.

May God encourage you by what we continue to learn.

 

 

Below are some excerpts from last year’s post (to read in full: http://jermpc.com/?p=505)

My dear, sweet daughter Carsyn. Today would be her 5th birthday (2012) had she not been stillborn. Her birthday serves as a reminder for our family of one of the darkest seasons we have encountered. In a moment like that, there are no words of comfort for someone who has just been told “I’m sorry; we cannot find your baby’s heartbeat. She has died.” There is grief. Even though, we never heard her laugh or saw her smile. Even though, I never comforted her when she was crying or read her a book or played with her and her dolls…there is grief. There is sadness. She is, to this day, part of our family, though. Her picture hangs on our wall with the rest of the childrens’ pictures. She come up in our conversations.

I find myself reflecting often on the circumstances of 2007 in hopes that the Lord will not allow me to become complacent and stagnant in life. Of course, I do not desire that to return to that valley, but I, also, do not want to forget the lessons that God taught me during that time.

What did I learn then that I do not want to let go of? (note: this list is certainly not comprehensive)

1. Life is in God’s hands. Pretending I have any control or hand on life and death is pure foolishness. Furthermore, I do not need to understand death any more than I need to understand birth. I should not ask “Why did Carsyn die?” any more than I should ask “Why was Carsyn’s life created?”

2. Circumstances change; God does not.

3. Contentment in the Lord must be of highest importance to my family. Paul writes, “I have learned to be content in all things.” and so must I (1 Timothy 6). Not just contentment with stuff but with His power over the ebb and flow of life.

4. One of the most often misquote…and misapplied verses in Scripture is 1 Corinthians 10:13. It says:

No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to humanity. God is faithful, and He will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation He will also provide a way of escape so that you are able to bear it. (HCSB)

I’ve heard it many times with this verse as support, “God will not allow anything to happen to you that you can’t handle.” This verse does not say this, nor does the Bible, in any other place, teach this idea. This verse is talking about the temptation to sin not the trials of life. The whole point is that we can’t handle many (perhaps argument could be made for all) of life’s circumstances. We need God. We need to Him as focus of our praise in the good times lest we think too highly of ourselves, and we need Him to sustain us during the difficult times by His peace.

5. The peace of God really does surpass all human understanding.

Why is this so important to me? Because as difficult as that season of life was for our family, God has shown us great mercy & grace over the last 5 years since. He has added 2 more amazing children our family and granted us loving relationships from our amazing church staff and church family…to name just a couple. God has shown us His kindness in more ways than I can name…and that is something I never want to forget!

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